she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
