I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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