Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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