I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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