so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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