Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
