Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Randomize
