How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
