fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
