Sponge bath it is.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
