So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
even my farts smell like vagina
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
