Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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