he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
