kristin has been a bad kristin
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
