if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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