Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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