I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize