if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
