God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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