What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
