she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
