I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
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