i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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