Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
