And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
