It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Randomize
