Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
