scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
