since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
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