he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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