addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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