Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Is it because I queefed?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
