Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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