I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
