How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
