Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
