As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
