Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
