I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
