He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
