I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
