Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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