Just mADE A PArabola og urine
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
