Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
