Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
