well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You are the jesus of drinking
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Randomize
