Why are handjobs necessary in class?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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