Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
