and you said cock pushups were impossible
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
