my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
only you would photoshop your dick
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
