It's Friday. Sex?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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