Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
