Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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