Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
