Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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