I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
