in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i think i scared a bird with my dick
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
