then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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