we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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