only you would photoshop your dick
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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